The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
