hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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