The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
