When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
