Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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