I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
