It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
