Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
