Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
