love makes seman taste better
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
