No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We left an ass print on the piano.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
