Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
