I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
