covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
