Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My Higher Power is John Stamos
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
