He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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