Yo dont text me then not text me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
