Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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