I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
