you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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