i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
