I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
