I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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