He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
