wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
