It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
