I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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