i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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