is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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