I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
