You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
as a side note pls kill me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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