We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize