Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
