So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
