I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
