Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize