You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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