At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize