Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
