Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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