There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
