Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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