try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize