OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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