Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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