at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
