You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize