lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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