my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
