dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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