worst night to have a conscience
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
