You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she peed on how many people?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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