it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
