Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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