My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
