Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well you can't waste a boner
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
