bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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