You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize