i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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